What Things are Dragging You Down?
- Imogen Cook
- Nov 14, 2021
- 7 min read
Ready to get real? The devil annoys me hugely. I think about how many times I let him mess with my mind. How many times he subtly put a temptation in my way and I took the bait. Times when he’s messed with the peace and strength of my family and friends. When he’s messed in relationships that God brought together for good. Safe to say, I am in no way a fan of his. It is time for us to free ourselves of the traps we’ve been pulled into; traps that have pulled us into the mud. Today, I would like to give you some friendly truths and lay out a plan for how you can get yourself out of the muck. It’s time to address those things that are dragging you down and pulling the life out of you. Because let’s face it, we’ve all wasted enough time being stuck. Let us begin!
Have you heard of the movie ‘The Holiday’?
It’s a romantic comedy led by Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz about two women wanting to get away from their recent heartbreaks. I mean, who can relate to that? Every girl who has gone through her teen years This movie is one of my absolute favourites, and it’s primarily due to the story arc of Kate Winslet’s character, Iris.
Living in Surrey, England, Iris works as a newspaper reporter. When it comes to love, she unfortunately experiences the classic unrequited love situation. For the past 3 years, she’s been in love with Jasper.
We learn early on that they have a relationship where he seems to be stringing her along, giving her hope that he would someday love her back. However, he just doesn’t seem to be able to commit. Instead, he’s using her. But, being blinded by love, Iris doesn’t quite see this. She eventually hits rock bottom when Jasper announces his engagement to another woman.
How many of you can relate?
I’m hoping you don’t specifically relate to this situation. But, when you think about those things in your life that you love, how many of them actually love you back? I’m meaning those things that can bring you happiness in the moment, but in the long run, they’re actually pulling you down into depression, hopelessness and despair. They are dragging you down. What once brought you joy and comfort, is now pulling precious life out of you.
We see this with Iris. For three years she has loved Jasper. She knows it’s a one sided love and she feels the pain from it. But every now and then, he will do something that gives her that glimmer of hope that he might actually love her back. So she holds on.
What things are you holding onto that are actually dragging you down?
I have some examples of common temptations that can lead us into a trap:
Social Media:
What was once a fun platform to keep up to date and chat with your friends, has turned into a distraction, attention grabber and a tool for comparison. There are definite pros to social media, but when you consider the effect of the cons, it becomes harmful. Especially today with negative news and opposing opinions (not really said with love either) scattered everywhere we look. It’s no wonder life is stressful!
Self Esteem:
Once upon a time you would look in the mirror and see yourself as a princess, but now you’re quick to only see what you don’t like. This is really the power of influence. It’s tough growing up, and sometimes it’s easy to take on certain comments made by people who just don’t understand the effect of their words. It hurts, and you hold onto them, which makes it harder for you to believe that God made you perfectly in His image.
Sexual Desires:
For what God created for good, the world has instead corrupted. We were created and blessed with a desire for intimacy. The Bible tells us intimacy is to be enjoyed between a man and a woman once they’re joined in marriage. However, the world says to do it when you’re ready, and it’s ok to go from person to person until you find ‘the one.’ The thing is, when you go from person to person, you are connecting your mind, body and soul with a lot of different people. Intimacy is sacred and should be shared with that person God has prepared for you.
Success:
Does your performance at work and the earning of money define your level of success? This is a tricky one because we all want to do well in our work and earn enough money so we can live a good life. God also wants us to be successful in life! It’s not a bad thing, but when we begin to put this in front of our families, our friends, and most importantly God, we can get distracted by greed and self centered ambition.
Relationships:
Just like Iris, a relationship that may have started great could now be draining you of your healthy connections with others. Manipulation is something to be on the lookout for, especially because a lot of us can be blinded to it. We can either not see the manipulation or choose to give the person an out, giving them an excuse to why they’re acting that way. And ultimately, it leaves us exhausted.
There are many more. Take a few minutes to reflect on what is dragging you down.
Now that we’ve addressed problems that are dragging you down, how can we be free?
Firstly, let me catch you up on Iris. To try and get over Jasper, she leaves England and goes to Los Angeles for Christmas. Now, she starts having a wonderful time, meeting new people and getting herself in a better headspace. But Jasper is looming, finding excuses to chat with her and even getting her address so he can send her pages of his new book to proofread. Everytime he pops up, you know he’s oozing manipulation.
Eventually, he shows up at her house in LA with a Christmas present and smooth talk to get Iris back. Now, with what happens next, Iris shows us the plan to get free from our smooth talking temptations.
Step One: Identify the temptation
What we learn from Iris, is that when she finds herself almost making another mistake, she makes herself aware of what she was about to do. As they almost kiss, she stops herself in the moment to make sure she was making the right choice. She confirmed that he was indeed still engaged to be married (despite his attempt to smooth talk himself out of it).
We must do the same. Identify those things that are making you fall into temptation. Ask for God’s guidance in keeping your mind straight, to not be blinded by the temptation but to recognise it instead. Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13. God won’t let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. There is always a way out!
Step Two: Explain your reason
Tell yourself why your relationship with that thing is not working out. Understand the reasons why. Talk about how it makes you feel and what it’s stopping you from doing in life. Or maybe it’s hurting your identity, who God made you to be. Whatever it is, make it known. In Galatians 6:1, it says if someone is caught in a sin, to gently help them be restored. This is the same for ourselves, acknowledge why you need to be done with this thing, and know that God has given you the grace to do it.
In Iris’ case, she says that Jasper has never treated her right. He broke her heart and he made her believe that it was her fault. She said that she was too in love with him to ever be mad at him, so she punished herself for years. Making this kind of realisation is so impactful and empowering! You deserve better!
Step Three: Time to end things
Announce you need to break up. This may sound silly to say it out loud, but speaking it out dims the power it has over you. When you go over things in your mind, it’s super easy for another thought to come in instantly to justify why it’s ok to carry on with the temptation. Speaking it out and asking for God’s help will get you away from that situation.
This is how it was for me. I was journaling at the lake, sitting with Jesus. I realised that there were some things I needed to break up with in my life. Suddenly into my mind popped these words from Iris.
“It’s over. This twisted, toxic thing between us, it’s finally finished! I’m miraculously done being in love with you!”
That was definitely God pointing out to me that I needed to break up with some things. I needed to stop being dragged down into the mud! These were things that used to bring comfort to me, but it was really the enemy trying to stop me from walking in my purpose. I realised that God is my true source of comfort, and He needed to be first in my life!
Step Four: Kick it out
Tell it to get out of your life. Enough is enough. There’s no need for this thing to drag you down any more. Whatever lies you’re believing, whatever distractions or temptations the enemy is putting in your way, speak out against it! James 4:7 says “So then surrender to God. Stand up to the devil and resist him and he will flee in agony” Don’t let him corrupt your thinking any longer or feed you things that are suffocating you.
In Iris’s case, she announces she has somewhere to be and that Jasper has to get out. Then she ends the whole thing by shutting the door in his face. I mean, that’s one way to do it! Whatever it takes to get back to having God come first in your life, do it!
Step Five: Celebrate!
This is my favourite part! Do what Iris does and let out a massive cheer! This moment of triumph gives me so much joy! By this point of the movie, we’ve seen Iris go through a lot of emotions. So, to see her take control of her life is so rewarding. When you flee from temptations and kick them out of your life, it is a huge win! And you should celebrate! It’s time to walk in the light of God!
If you’ve made it this far in the blog post, please leave a comment! I apologise, it was a long one, but I had to go with where God led me. I hope you have been encouraged today. I’m praying for you as you look to what you need to break up with. Enough of these things dragging you down, it’s time to walk on air!
Comments